I have been humming and hawing about whether to continue blogging. I thought "What will I blog about? I don't journal so what will I write?" Well, I thought I would write what is on my heart right now.
I just popped onto a friends blog and read through what she has started and I started to well up. She's going through what we are. Yet each story is different. We have been trying for another baby for 3.5 years. Since Makena was 6 months old. Alot of you know our journey, but some of you probably don't. It's no secret; infact if you ask me about it I am happy to talk about it. I find that talking about it helps me not to keep it all inside.
I get alot of the "Is she your only one?" "Do you have more children?" "Are you planning to have more?"
YES, NO, and YES!
Of course when it is a stranger asking, or not the right timing, I nod my head and say "Yes, she is our only child so far". I say "so far" because I believe God has a plan for our family. What it is - I don't know. When it will happen - I don't know. That is all in His hands.
We tried for Makena for just short of 2 years. At the time we felt like that was the longest wait of our lives. We hadn't gotten pregnant yet and we had the unknown of if we could. I went for a HSG test and 2 months later I found out I was pregnant! We didn't do any form of fertility what-so-ever. Praise the Lord.
This time around it is different. We have been waiting for 3.5 years. I have been on 9 rounds of Clomid - a low dose of fertility pills. Jordan and I were referred to a Fertility Doctor by the Gyn. that my doctor referred me to. I told him that I had been on Clomid for 9 months and he frowned. I should have been on for only 6 months. Because the Gyn put me on for 9 months we couldn't use the Clomid in a treatment called Insemination. The Clomid enhances the dropping of a second egg, giving the chances of conceiving a higher percentage. Apparently if I were to go on the drug for any longer my chances of developing cancer would increase.
No thank you.
The Fertility doctor gave us options. 1) Try insemmination without the drugs. Basically as if we could do it on our own at home! But pay them to do it! Ugh.
2) A Laparoscapy - a surgery that the doc goes through my belly button area with a camera to see if there are any underlying issues.
3) IVF.
We left there approx. 5 months ago not sure what to do. We opted for trying to do it on our own some more. It hasn't happened. SO I am going to make an appointment with my doctor to discuss some options. I want to be sent for another HSG, see the benefits of the laparoscapy, basically what he thinks our next step should be.
That is where we are at. I wanted to share as maybe some don't feel like they can ask. Maybe you think it is a sensitive subject. It is sometimes, but I can talk about it so don't be afraid to ask me.
We are continuing to pray for another baby to add to our family. But you know, if He doesn't bless us with another I am enjoying our first miracle very much and thanking God for her.
"Thank you Lord God for the miracle baby that you gave us almost 4 years ago. The day I found out I was pregnant I was in shock. I couldn't believe that after waiting so long that it had finally happened. God you know our hearts and the desires of them. I pray that if it is your will, that we will be given those desires. Lord I pray for Makena, that she will understand that it is only in Your timing that anything will happen. Thank you for loving us enough to give us one child to raise. We will continue to teach her Your ways Lord. I love you. Amen."
